See you walk out the gate,
Onto the worn, dirty tar road
Coloured in by pencil lead.
Watch you walk away for the last time.
You are my biggest regret.
You don’t look back, never do.
Hiding in the shadows,
I don’t merit a second glance.
You were always watching me, watch you.
Your own harmless stalker.
Things I wish I’d said;
The broad planes of your face,
Exploding mass of curly hair,
I wish I was a painter
Just so I could capture them forever,
To have a picture of you.
What is the limit? I wonder.
The number of times that you
Can be caught staring at someone
Before you can’t say hello to them.
Before it’s too awkward.
Before they can see the naked longing
In your face.
I curbed my brazenness,
Told myself you were too important
To ruin with an offhand comment.
Something stupid about your hair
The band on your shirt,
The tattoo on your arm.
I curbed my brazenness,
Thus I never got to say hello.
Hiding again, silently in the shadows.
Your big desert boots clomping,
Out of my life for the last time.
Eyes slide to my hiding place,
See me see you see me.
Eyes daring me to take a chance,
Mocking my inertia.
For one brief moment we spoke without words.
Eyes slide away, as if nothing happened.
That’s how we say goodbye,
With me still watching.
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P/N: Trying out a new style. I’m not a big fan of writing free verse, the urge to rhyme is too strong, and somehow I lose some of the words when I do. So I didn’t.
kazenomachihe 